How to Mend a Broken Heart (Meg's Story)

I'm Taking a break from In the Face of Malice, to bring you this. It's just as sick and twisted w/o the fantasy. I had a bit of a fever and kept have crazy dreams about my pregnant, Jewish half-sister being Hawaiian and being married to her crazy ex, Charlie, instead of her actual husband and the result, was this story and a yearning to make latkes and slice up some pineapple on the top, so anyway thank you all and I hope you enjoy my fever as much as I did. 

They sat in a circle on hard plastic, blue chairs, avoiding eye contact, with the exception of one. A young, very pretty, very sad, girl, her long, black hair hung down her back, her dark brown skin glistened despite the poorly lit room and her big, green eyes watched everyone in the room closely. She shifted uneasily in her seat and twirled a silver ring around her finger.  

“Why don’t you start today Lani?” Said a plump red headed woman to the pretty girl. 

“Um ok, hi my name is Lani,”

 “Hi Lani.” The rest of the group said in unison.

She looked at the red head and shrugged.

“Tell us a little about yourself and then tell us why you’re here, what made you grieve but only if you feel comfortable.” She said in a cheerful but sorrowful voice. 

“I’m um, this is my first grief meeting and I really don’t know how to start.” She said still keeping a close eye on everyone.

“Who are you grieving over?” An older man asked sympathetically.

“My boyfriend.” Lani answered.

“Tell us how you met.” The redhead urged.

“Ok, I um ha,” She laughed. “I was new in town and I’d looked every where for a synagogue, even online and I still couldn’t find one and then I saw these boys outside of the bookstore on Main street and they had on yarmulkes, so I asked them where the synagogue was and they laughed and then the one who was laughing the most, finally stopped and said ‘we’re not Jewish, we’re actors in a production of Fiddler.’ I smiled and thanked them but when I was about to walk away he said ‘I’m sure I could help you find one’ and I said sure.” She fidgeted with the silver ring again. “He asked what race I was and I told him Jewish and Hawaiian and he laughed and said ‘like a pineapple latke’, I laughed so hard ad from that day on we were inseparable.” She paused for a moment then continued.

“We are so in love, I am so in love. I am head over heel’s, crazy, dangerously in love. He is so amazing, caring, handsome, sensitive, and protective and just everything and he loves me and I love him and our life is perfect, perfectly blissful.

It was perfectly blissful. 

Was perfectly blissful.

Was perfectly blissful, until Charlie was found dead. 

Let me start over.

On the night that Charlie Ryan was killed he told me he was on his way but as usual he was late and as usual I suspected Meg. Meg was Charlie’s little sister and he’d do just about anything for her and that was why he was always late because of Meg’s last minute games. She did it on purpose, just to bug me but I didn’t mind, Charlie was her all and she was his. Charlie’s parents had died in a terrible car accident when he was a kid; he and Meg had lived with their aunt until she died earlier this year. Charlie was only twenty and he worked hard to provide for Meg who had just turned eighteen, I can’t believe he’s gone.

I remember the police coming out to my house and told me Meg was at a friend’s house. That was when a chill ran down my spine, I remembered thinking that if Meg hadn’t made him late what did and then all these crazy thoughts ran through my head, like was this a prank, I mean I knew how much Charlie loved a good joke but this was a step to far.

 I didn’t hear anything the police were saying until one of them uttered the words ‘next of kin‘ and my heart shattered into a billion tiny little pieces, I got really cold and then warm drops hit my hands and I realized I was crying. I don’t even remember getting into the car or arriving at the hospital, I did remember them saying that they had contacted Meg and she was on her way, so I was the only person who could identify the body and Meg had giving me permission.

I walked into the cold white room, past several silver file like drawers, my palms cold, clammy and tears in my eyes, hoping against hope that there was someone else in the cold metal container, that a mistake had been made and Charlie would run up behind me before the women in the white lab coat pulled it open and turn me away so I wouldn’t have to see a dead body. But deep down inside me there was a little voice telling me that Charlie was in there.

She pulled open the drawer and it made this terrible screeching sound, like nails on a chalk board. I shut my eye’s tight, I heard the sound of the sheet being pulled back and a small gust of air hit me in the face and the smell of cheap collonge hit my nose and I nearly passed out because I knew without opening my eye’s that Charlie would be lying on that cold metal slab and I would want to lift him up and wrap my arms around him and make him warm and make him alive again.

I opened my eyes, the tears made it hard to see, I was so scared to wipe them away but I did and there he was. I had expected him to be pale, blue looking but he wasn’t, he looked like he was sleep.

I didn’t even notice I was talking, then I heard myself and the tears begain again as I repeated, “Charlie baby wake up.”

Then one of the officers came up behind me and grabbed my shoulders. “I know it’s hard but I need you to tell me that this man is Charlie Ryan.” He said in an oddly soothing voice.

“That’s him.” I said quietly.

The officer then started guiding me out, the lady in the lab coat coverd him back up and out of nowhere I turned around and ran back and ripped the sheet off him again and kissed his cold lips. They were still soft, I pulled away slowly and mouthed the words ‘I love you’ before covering him gently and walking out.

Meg ran down the hospital hallway toward me but stopped two feet from me and dropped to her knees. 

“Oh God I knew it was him.” She said staring blankly at me. Her friends ran up behind her and hugged her tightly and it hadn’t sunk in because I turned around looking for Charlie so he could hug me and then I remembered and I couldn’t breath and I couldn’t talk and the word why kept flashing in my head.

The funeral was a short, small ceremony, a few cousins from out of town, a pastor, Meg’s two friends that she’d brought to the hospital that night and Meg and I of course. I held the repast at my place and when everyone had left Meg and I sat down and talked about the good times and cried until we fell asleep.

A few days later Meg asked me could she move in with me, I agreed even though the sight of her made me want to cry, she looked so much like her brother. After we’d gotten her all moved in I slept, I slept for a long time, I don’t know if I was exhausted or if the sadness was to much to bear; but  know that I slept for days and when  I finally woke up Meg was opening the curtains in my room and pulling the cover off of me.

I asked her what she was doing and she said it was time for me to get up, and then she threw a green bath towel at me and told me to take a shower. I groaned, she opened my bathroom door and pointed inside. Eventually I got up and took a long, hot shower.

The water burned, everywhere it hit it left a red circle but it felt so good, I walked under the showerhead and stood there. When I finally got out I saw that Meg had been busy, she’d cleaned my room, did my laundry, made my bed and laid out jeans and a tee. A pang of guilt hit my heart, Charlie was her brother, she should be the one depressed, I should be the one cleaning up after her, she hadn’t even got to grieve because I was occupying her time of mourning. I kept thinking how selfish, how inconsiderate and unsympathetic I must seem to her and started to cry again and that just made me more angry at myself because Meg should have been the one crying.      

After cursing myself I got dressed and walked out of my room into the hallway. I could voices coming from the living room, at first I thought Meg was on the phone but the other voice was to clear and then I realized that I recognized that I knew that voice, it was the police officer from the night Charlie had died.

I walked in and he stood up, I looked at my coffee table, two empty cups and a half eaten plate of Lorna Doone’s he had been waiting for a while. He pulled a big Ziploc up from the sofa and showed me, then he said.

“I called Meg, told her I could release Charlie’s personal effects and she told me that they belong to you.”

I felt miserable, my eye’s were so clouded up I didn’t notice a small, black, velvet box at the bottom but when I did, that same crushing feeling my heart had the night Charlie died came rushing back, he wanted to marry me! I felt my throat close up and now I feel like ‘Lani’ is dead, like when Charlie died my soul went with him, I hurt, I ache, I’m in so much pain and Meg tries, she’s the one that sent me here but there is no living with Charlie dead and I know that now.”    

“Oh Lani, you feel that way now hun, but it’ll get better.” The red head said patting Lani’s hand. “That’s all the time we have for today, next week we’ll learn to how exactly to cope with loss, make sure to grab a brochure for the other groups on the way out.”

Lani raced for the door and once out of it she took a deep breath and exhaled before throwing her back against the brick wall outside and putting her hands in her jean pockets.

“How did he die?” came a voice from behind her.

She turned around it was the older man from the group; he had on a light blue bowling shirt and tan colored pants. He smiled warmly at Lani she smiled back, the sun was just starting to set as the rest of the group left the building and the red head lay locked up and said goodbye.

“Got a ride home Lani?” He asked.

“Meg is coming.” She answered.

“Charlie’s sister.”

“Yeah,” Lani paused for a moment and stared at the old guy. “Why are you in the group Walter?”

“My wife died a few months ago and I started drinking wait,” He paused and stared oddly at Lani. “How’d you know my name?”

“You drink a lot Walter, about how much you think you drink?” Lani asked.

“That’s none of your business,”     

“Charlie stopped to get gas when it happened, a man, a drunk man drove up on the curb and hit him so hard he flew through the window.” Lani said angrily. “I didn’t mention the best part Walter, how a large piece of glass punctured Charlie’s heart, he bled out Walter, bled out and died right there on the gas station floor, he looked so old on that metal slab, like an eighty year old man.”

“I’m gonna go ahead and go home now Lani,”

“You’re not going anywhere!” Said a voice from behind Walter.

“Hey Meg.” Lani said as a thin blond girl walked up to him followed by two others. 

“Hey Walter.” Meg said happily.

He noticed the three new girls had on white medical gloves and Meg threw a pair to Lani.

“Grab him!” Meg instructed and her two friends grabbed Walter’s arms and wrestled him down. “Did Lani tell you I’m in school to be a medical examiner?”

“No you can’t, I didn’t mean to,” 

“Gag him!” Lani ordered. “I’ve been trying to find you for a long time now Walter.”

“Ok hold the light for me Lani.” Meg said as she lifted a shiny knife, Walter’s eye’s grew wide. “Come on you didn’t think I’d use a scalpel, don’t forget his wallet.”

“Can I have the cash?” One of the friends asked as she took one hand off Walters arm and dug in his pants pocket. 

“Sure but the wallet goes in the garbage in the back of the liquor store.” Lani said but she didn’t take her eyes off Walters.

“Lani you sure you don’t want to stab him?” Meg asked.

“I want to watch his eye’s go lifeless.” Lani answered darkly.

“Fine, his subclavian artery is here,” Meg said placing her index and middle finger at the base of his neck. “There should be a bit of blood splatter so spred out.” 

Meg lifted her hand and came down with force.

“What happened after that?” The little boy asked eagerly bouncing on the side of the hospital bed.

“I killed the old man.” Said the old woman as the heart moniter beeped slowly.

“You’re fibbing grandma Meg.”

“No I’m not.” She said weakly.

“If you don’t believe me look in that drawer there.” She said pointing to her bedside table.

“Come on Charlie, visiting hours are over.” Said a woman who resembled Meg. “Bye ma, love you, come on Charlie, let grandma rest.”

“Wait she told me to get something.” Charlie said opening the drawer, his mouth dropped open.

“Well what is it?” His mother asked before walking to the drawer and pulling out a beat up, brown, leather wallet. “Is this daddy’s ma?” The girl asked.

“It’s Walter’s.” The boy said backing away.

“The old man you claimed to have killed, I told you not to tell him that story ma!” She sighed before opening the wallet, she gasped and dropped it.

The I.D. on the inside read Walter Heartley, 4229 East Maple Drive.